Love, Selfish Love
by drumblonde
Summary: AU. Blaine loves Kurt, but Kurt falls for another Warbler. Through unusual circumstances, Blaine grudgingly helps Kurt's crush win him over. Reviews are lovely :
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! I got this idea a few days ago, so I just started writing it. I don't know how long this will be, but this is just a little introduction to the story, and I'll try to get more written in the next few days so I can post it here. Enjoy and review! :)**

* * *

Blaine never knew the exact moment he fell in love with Kurt, but after he did, there was nothing that could be done to get the boy out of his mind. It was if someone had burned the image of Kurt's face in his brain, because every single little thing always brought Blaine back to Kurt. The pull of Kurt's gravity was extensive; Blaine could be sitting in his Chemistry class, learning about ions and anions and cations, and then his mind would drift to cats, and milk, and that time in the Lima Bean with Rachel and Mercedes and Kurt when Kurt mentioned that he brings Finn warm milk every night for some "lady chats". At the time he was strangely jealous of Finn for having an intimate relationship with Kurt—a brotherly friendship—but then he remembers that Kurt is one of his best friends.

He never intended to fall in love with him either. It just sort of happened. When he first met Kurt, he only meant to be a friend, a counselor, a support system, because that was what Kurt needed. Then they spent more time together and Blaine could see that Kurt no longer needed him. As a counselor, a support system. Just as a friend that could still be there for him.

There was a moment that just clicked with Blaine that made him take a step back from life and realize that hey, the one he's been looking for is Kurt. Everything about Kurt then seemed so perfect to him, his every mannerism, every quirk. Every imperfection, even, seemed perfect to him.

It was weird for Blaine to hold someone is such a high regard, but eventually accepted the fact that he was head over heels for Kurt. There was no denying it.

But Kurt had no idea. How could Blaine ever work up enough courage to tell him, to act on his feelings? It was silly to think that the one-word mantra that Blaine had preached to Kurt failed for himself. He supposed it failed for Kurt, too, because all it got him was an unwanted kiss from a closeted bully.

Yes, courage didn't work out so well, and that was why Blaine committed himself to admire from afar, because where was the harm in that? There was no way to hurt Kurt's feelings if he didn't confess his own, and he couldn't get hurt from the possibility of rejection if Kurt didn't feel the same.

Boy was he wrong about that.

* * *

Blaine had been studying in his room when he got a text from Kurt. It seemed like Kurt was excited about something, and he wanted Blaine to meet him at the Lima Bean for some coffee to tell him something. He responded that he would meet him, and he grabbed a jacket and his car keys and went down to the parking lot to his car and drove to the coffee shop.

In the car, between singing along to the songs on the radio and gazing at the passing scenery, he wondered what Kurt wanted to tell him. A small fluttery feeling grew in his stomach when he thought about it. What if Kurt wanted to tell him that he liked him? Every day Blaine thought about this possibility, but that day, it took him over until he was nearly sick with nervous apprehension at his meeting.

When he got there, he stood in line for some coffee because he saw that Kurt hadn't gotten there yet. He ordered Kurt a nonfat mocha, and a medium drip for himself, and picked out a table in the corner. He smiled back at the barista when she handed them both of the drinks and sat back down at the table. About five minutes later, Kurt walked in with a flushed smile on his face. Blaine brightened when Kurt spotted him and sat down at the table.

"Thanks for the coffee, Blaine! How much do I owe you?" he asked.

Blaine smiled. "Oh, you don't have to repay me. It's no problem. Now tell me why you've invited me here."

Kurt could hardly contain his excitement. "I'm in love," he said simply.

Blaine could feel his heart in his throat. Was this really it? "With whom, may I ask?"

Kurt smiled coyly. "Oh, I'm not going to name any names. But he's cute. He can sing."

Blaine perked up at the mention of singing. His heart beat faster in his throat. "Really?" he asked quietly.

"Yes! And he's so sweet! He's smart, and funny, and so tall!"

At the mention of tall, Blaine could feel his heart plunge into his stomach. It wasn't him. Not at all. There was no way that it could be him. He wasn't tall. In fact he was shorter than Kurt. In class pictures he was always placed in the front row because of his height.

"Tall?" he choked out. He hoped Kurt didn't notice how he tripped over that word.

"Oh yes! I think he mentioned that he plays a little basketball. Isn't this exciting?" Kurt asked.

It was far from it, Blaine thought. Instead he nodded a little too vigorously, in an attempt to cover up what he was going through. He now regretted coming to the coffee shop, but he couldn't take back this exchange if he wanted to. He was going to live through this somehow; he just hadn't figured it out yet.

"So are you going to tell me who the lucky guy is?" asked Blaine a little while later, after they sipped their coffee in silence.

Kurt considered this, then shrugged. "I don't see why not. His name's Jake. He's in the Warblers."

Blaine frowned. He didn't remember anyone in the Warblers that went by Jake. "Are you sure? I don't recall anyone with that name," he said.

"He's new, he's starting school on Monday. I met him last weekend here at the Lima Bean. We haven't talked much, but there's something about him that just jumped out at me. Do you know what I mean?"

Unfortunately yes, Blaine did know what Kurt was talking about. And it was the numerous things about Kurt that jumped out at him.

"Yeah, I do," said Blaine softly.

Kurt finished his coffee, and stood up to throw his trash away. "Well, what I was getting at was I wanted to ask you if you could make sure he gets a warm welcome to Dalton. You know, like the one you gave me. He seemed really confused when we met and I told him that you would show him around."

Blaine swore his heart stopped when Kurt asked him to do that. "I—you want me to—uh okay then. I guess." He had trouble forming coherent thoughts. First Kurt drops this bomb on him that he likes some other random guy, and now he wants Blaine to _befriend him?_ He couldn't say no, of course. This was Kurt asking him. But he felt his heart sink lower when Kurt smiled widely in relief.

"Thank you _so_ much Blaine. I know he'll fit right in." Kurt stood for a second longer, then moved towards the front door. "I have to get back home now, Dad's expecting me for Friday night dinners." Kurt waved a little goodbye, and Blaine watched as his roommate left him in the coffee shop with a bitter taste in his mouth and a heavy heart.

Love wasn't supposed to be like this, thought Blaine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! I'll try to get the next update out sooner, but I'm on spring break and I'm going on college tours, so sharing a hotel room with my mom plus the possibility of bad wifi might make it a little hard to update this.**

**But I hope you enjoy this next part of the introduction/backstory, and the next chapter should start getting into the meat of things.**

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews so far, and keep it up! I love any feedback, and if you have any suggestions, send me a message and I can try to answer them!**

**(Most of the chapters will probably be about this long. I can't promise a novel per chapter.)**

**Again, enjoy and review! :D**

**(Oh yeah, the title of the fic is taken from the song itself, Love, Selfish Love by Patrick Stump)**

* * *

It turned out that Jake was a junior as well, transferring from someplace in Wisconsin. From what Blaine could gather, Jake's family was rich—like most of the population that attended Dalton—and they were all _very_ good looking. Jake was tall, willowy, and blonde, like a model straight out of a clothing ad, with piercing green eyes. No wonder Kurt was enamored with him.

Nevertheless, Blaine promised Kurt that he would watch out for Jake and help him into the new system. He didn't even know why the kid had transferred, but it didn't seem like he needed all that much help. Jake looked like a very easy-going person, and he had an extroverted personality.

Which was why Blaine was confused. Why did Kurt seem to think Jake needed his help? He wondered about it all day, in between meeting up with Jake briefly to show him to his next class and his own classes. Eventually, he pushed the thought away and resigned himself to doing whatever Kurt needed him to do. He was Kurt's friend, after all.

That night at the Warblers meeting, however, Jake didn't seem to be who Blaine thought he was. Kurt was catching up on some extra homework in the library so he couldn't go to the meeting, but it appeared that Jake wanted to make an impression in the last part of his first day at Dalton.

But the rest of the Warblers couldn't decide whether or not it was a good impression.

The meeting had gone on as usual, until Wes and the rest of the council had started discussing the solo arrangements for the next performance. Wes had mentioned that he liked the arrangement for Blaine the way they had been practicing, and then Jake spoke up.

"It seems to me like you guys worship the guy," he said nonchalantly, leaning up against the arm of a couch.

Wes frowned. "No, Junior Warbler Blaine has already proven himself to be quite capable of solos in the past, and we feel like giving him the opportunity to take the solo if he so wishes."

Jake chuckled. "Then it seems to me that the problem is selfishness. On Blaine's part."

That caused an uproar. "How dare you!" "You mock us, sir!" "Take that back!" Why would you suggest such a thing!" were a few of the distinguishable comments amid the commotion.

Wes pounded his gavel. "Order, Warblers. I will have order." He turned to Blaine, who was seething in a quiet fury. "Blaine do you have anything to say to our new member?"

Blaine thought for a moment, and had to bite back an angry outburst before he nodded. "Yes, but in private," he answered almost inaudibly.

The rest of the Warblers were a little afraid. They had heard the words "Beware the fury of a patient man", but never had they been witness to it before. Blaine was one of the most patient people they knew, and looked about ready to snap. So they immediately granted his request and shuffled out of the room quickly, but after they closed the doors, a few of them remained behind to listen at the cracks (namely Wes and David).

Blaine stood in the center of the room for a minute, still quiet. Jake raised an eyebrow; he had expected to get some sort of furious response from Blaine. Anything really. But Blaine remained quiet as ever.

After a few more minutes, he asked, "Why the _hell_ would you call me selfish?" There was a hint of venom in his voice, and he was still shaking a little bit with anger at the accusation. Blaine knew he was the least selfish person of the Warblers. He always went out of his way to help people with whatever they needed, and he always got the same level respect in return.

Then of course, from an outsider's point of view, it would seem as if Blaine was indeed selfish. But the only reason he actually got the solos is because nobody else was all that genuinely interested in them. They trusted Blaine to lead them in their songs, as long as he would do his part by aiding any of the Warblers whenever they asked for it.

Jake stood for a moment and laughed a little. "Okay, Blaine you got me. I was just saying that so maybe I could talk to you alone. Obviously it worked."

Blaine furrowed his brow. "Huh?" he asked. This was entirely out of character but he was really confused.

The blonde boy took a breath. "I like Kurt, okay? But I don't really know him that well. He told me that you would help show me around here a little bit, and you seem to be really good friends with him. You know him well. I—I guess you could say that I'm shy, but I need your help getting to know Kurt, or at least getting him to like me."

This was all too much for Blaine. He thought it was bad enough that Kurt wanted him to help guide this kid around, but now Jake wanted _his _help in attracting Kurt? He wasn't going to tell him that Kurt already liked him—that would only inflate his ego more—but he was in too much shock to respond at the moment.

Jake looked embarrassed. "You don't have to, of course. But you really seemed like such a nice guy, and the other Warblers seem to think so, and I've never wanted anything more than this. I really want to get to know Kurt. I need this, Blaine. I need someone like Kurt in my life."

Me too, thought Blaine. "I don't know exactly how I can help you though," said Blaine. "It's not like I'm a romantic expert."

Jake shook his head furiously. "No. It doesn't matter. I'll accept any kind of help whatsoever. I don't care. As long as it'll help Kurt notice me."

Blaine closed his eyes, deeply pondering why he was making this decision. He could easily say no and walk away, but…

That would be the selfish thing to do.

All he could do was just give Jake a tight nod without looking up, and that was all it took for Jake to run up and hug him.

"Thank you so much, Blaine. I know why Kurt trusts you. And you really, really aren't selfish, for that matter. I'm sorry if that struck a bad chord with you."

Blaine waved it off, and went to open the doors to leave. But there was a resistance coming from the other side, so Blaine knocked loudly on it and yelled at his fellow Warblers to stop eavesdropping and get on with their lives. He needed to leave quickly before he changed his mind.

Things were about to get very interesting here at Dalton.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! Sorry for the lack of an update, I've been traveling and when I got back there was stuff I needed to do.**

**Anyways, here's chapter 3! Thank you for your reviews so far, and don't forget to keep it up :)**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

That night, alone in the room he shared with Kurt, Blaine was seriously second guessing himself. Why the hell _had_ he agreed to help both Kurt and Jake out?

Well, Kurt was his best friend. He supposed he would probably help Kurt out no matter what. But Blaine still didn't know why he had agreed to favor Jake.

Sure, it was a responsibility he took upon himself to help new students, but this request…

Blaine had said yes to prove a point. He knew that Jake had probably not meant anything by it when he called Blaine out, but the thought that someone could think of him as selfish really irked him. It was his own way of proving people wrong.

He had always been like that. With his parents, he had tried to prove to them that he was still the perfect kid, even though he was gay. He strived for perfect grades, the perfects sports teams, the perfect friends. Everything he did was another thing to shove in their faces that he was still the same boy all along.

It would have worked, too, but the Andersons were a business. Blaine's whole upbringing had been the business. From the day he was born, it was decided that he would take over as the head of the company.

But when his parents found out he was gay, they transferred him immediately to Dalton, with no room for objections or second chances. Maybe they believed that if he focused on his studies, then maybe he would grow out of this stage and come to his senses and date girls.

That was the only thing Blaine was thankful of his parents for—Dalton. He was able to finally be himself without fear of his parents finding out, as long as he behaved and kept his grades up, because they were always too busy paying attention to other things than the little aspects of his life.

So he did just that. He made new friends, he was adventuresome and tried new things, like joining the Warblers, he excelled in his classes, and he stayed out of trouble.

His whole life was a selfless act of pleasing others, and it seemed to him that it would continue on that way if it could keep the people he cared about happy. And at the moment, Kurt was who he cared about the most.

Kurt deserved happiness. Plain and simple, he'd endured enough shit at his old school and it was time for him to feel welcomed into something so much more than just an individualist setting. Competition for Kurt was good—to an extent. Too much of it was starting to wear down at him. The Warblers provided the opportunity to take a backseat to his demanding life, a backseat that would let him recover and gain his confidence back.

And his confidence was starting to come back. In the little things that Blaine noticed about him. The way he allowed himself to let his personality shine through again after blending in so much with the Warblers. Blending in was necessary to be a part of the group. But the more Kurt showed through, the more dynamic the Warblers had gotten, and in that way, they had grown as a group, allowing themselves to venture into that scary world of trying new things. There was so much that they would not have tried without Kurt's urging, and that was partially how Blaine had really fallen in love with Kurt.

It was the real Kurt, the one who wasn't afraid of opinions in order to voice his own; the real Kurt that wasn't afraid to sing about whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted; the real Kurt that wasn't afraid to let himself be humiliated so he can have his own moment when he was free to express himself—that was the Kurt he fell in love with.

Somehow, that was and wasn't different from the Kurt he was up against these days. The Kurt he thought he knew wouldn't let himself get so caught up in a boy he hardly knew so soon; the Kurt he thought he knew was more focused when it came to Warblers rehearsals, instead of gazing lazily at the blonde boy sitting obliviously in the back of the room. The Kurt he thought he knew wasn't the one to open his heart so widely after being so hurt in the past.

He was frustrated that he put him in this situation, but he had to admit that he had agreed to both Jake and Kurt that he would try to help them out. He was a man of his word, and he was the type to try and prove his selflessness for others, because that's all he expects in return.

* * *

Blaine found himself seriously struggling to come up with ways to romance Kurt for Jake. Blaine knew that he himself was not romantic at all; there were too many tried attempts at it that he had just given up at the prospect of being someone who has a way with words. A song helps, but there was no way he'd be able to sing his feelings for Kurt and put Jake's name on it.

It takes several days to get an idea, and Jake approaches him more than once to make sure he wasn't backing out on his promise. He assures Jake that he is really trying to think of something, something to convey any emotions that Jake may be feeling. He asks Jake for any suggestions, but he waves him off, and tells him that Blaine knows Kurt better, so it's easier to just use his own experiences with Kurt to base the courtship off of.

This makes it all the harder for Blaine to dive into. There's a million things that Blaine could go on and on about Kurt, but he has never voiced them aloud to anybody before. Not even his best friends. Certainly not them because they're the type of friends that never let things go and they would egg him on to act on his feelings, even in the face of rejection because they seem to take some sort of sick pleasure in Blaine's love life (well, at least he sees it that way, it's happened before).

Blaine sits at his desk, in front of his laptop, willing himself to write. Just write _something._ Anything really, to be remotely quality enough to use for Kurt. He thinks back to the first time he met Kurt, and all the times he spent with him, and wonders what the word Kurt means to him. It's more than just a word, more than just a name. It's a person, someone with feelings and emotions, and the right to love.

Blaine then finds his inspiration, and begins typing away at his keyboard.

_From the very first moment you meet Kurt, the way he looks at you will make you feel as if you've been friends with him your whole life. He is the only guy of your dreams who will come true. He will show up in your life disguised as the muse Serendipity or, "happy accident" and as convincing as he may be, Kurt himself is no accident. At times, he may not always know exactly what he is doing. Nevertheless, Kurt's actions will always be intentional and deliberate. It's easy to be fooled. He has the power to tear _any_ man apart if he so chooses to, but if your love for Kurt is true, you will be able to gaze deeply into his endless blue eyes and see underneath his clever camouflage to discover that deep down, Kurt is a diamond. Perfect and flawless. His soul is as free as a new born baby and feels just as soft and cool, but he is no push over. He'll always do as he pleases even though you may not approve. It is wise to never ask Kurt "why?" Doing so will make you go insane. If you happen to be lucky enough to have a friend named Kurt then you are blessed with infinite inspiration and endless imagination. It is because of him that mankind has dared venture into outer space._

He copied and pasted it into his email, and then sent it to Jake, with an added note. _Don't put your name on this. Send it to him on a new account; we need to make this some sort of game. He likes games so we'll see if we can keep this up. I don't want him finding out who you are just yet. It's all a part of the plan I'm starting to form. Just trust me._

He got an almost immediate reply, with just the simple words "Thank you" written in a large font above the one he just sent to Jake. He took a deep breath. This was going to be a long and painful process if his plan was going to unfold the way he imagined it so far.


End file.
